It has taken me a long time to get to this place, but I am here. I will no longer be the people pleaser I have been my whole life. I choose me. I am enough. It is time for me to focus on myself and what makes me healthy and happy. I will not apologize to anyone for choosing me. I’ve learned that boundaries are the most important thing for my mental and physical health. While they are so damn hard to create and hold, they are so important.
I’ve been struggling for a long time, but when I got COVID for the second time in January, it hit me hard and has taken a long time to get back to myself. Honestly, I am still not there, and need more work. Dealing with other wonderful issues that come with being a 45 (almost 46) year old woman, I need to focus on what is best for me mentally and physically.
I am an amazingly badass woman and deserve to love myself as such. I have lots of flaws (we all do) but I have accomplished so many wonderful things in my life that I need to be proud of. And I will accomplish so many more amazingly wonderful things in the future. I need to begin living like that amazingly badass woman and take care of her inside and out.
I love the woman I have become. She has bad moments and good moments and a lot of crazy shit going on in her life, but she is still amazing. She deserves to live her true self. This journey is not easy at all. I am still dealing with health issues and dark times, but I know if I can choose to better myself most of the time, it can only get better.
I’m tired of dreaming for more and not doing the work. I will now do the work and live the life of my dreams. I am in the relentless pursuit of feeling good – mentally, emotionally, and physically. I hope you will follow my journey. I will give you an honest account of my journey – the good and the bad – and hopefully others will take something away from it to learn to love yourself enough to choose you.
I am perfectly imperfect and that is enough.